November 1, 2006, Vol.5, No.21.

Responsibilities of Fathers

If your children are in school, they spend about six hours a day, five days a week in class. Most of this time they study secular, academic subjects. Additionally, they probably have homework most afternoons. This is well and good, for it should equip them to earn a living and to be good citizens. Some courses even help equip them to more effectively serve the Lord.

But the subject they need most to learn is the Word of God. A knowledge of the Scriptures will guide them to salvation (James 1:21) and make them "complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work" (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Whose responsibility is it to see that children learn the will of God?

"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4). "Admonition" means literally "a putting in mind" and "is ‘the training by word’, whether of encouragement, or, if necessary, by reproof or remonstrance" (Vine. 1:30). We dads are specifically commanded to bring up our children in "admonition of the Lord." It is our obligation to see that they receive the "training by word" they need to learn their duties in life as taught in the Bible.

If our children are ignorant of the Scriptures, we fathers can’t blame it on the Bible class teachers, the preachers, or the church. It’s our own responsibility to see they are taught the Word of God. Certainly it will help them to be in every Bible class and worship assembly. But if they come to all the Bible classes and worship services available each week, they’ll still only have about three hours a week of biblical instruction. We need to see that they study for Bible classes at home and provide them the help they need, even as we do for their school homework.

Furthermore, we as dads need to instruct them at home ourselves. Moses commanded Israel:

And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).

Israelite children were born into covenant relationship with God. Our children have to be taught before they become God’s covenant children (John 6:44-45; Hebrews 8:6-13). How much greater is our responsibility to teach our children the Bible!

A wonderful practice that most American Christians have gotten away from is to have a family devotional (worship and study period) for fifteen minutes to half an hour at a set time each day. All the families I stayed with in Nigeria got up very early in the morning every day and spent about half an hour together in Bible study and prayer with the father leading. What a wonderful way to start or end the day! What a great way for families to be together and grow closer to the Lord.

"But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever" (1 Timothy 5:8). Obviously, since wives are given the responsibility to manage the home (1 Timothy 5:14), dads have the primary responsibility of earning a living.

What needs should we provide for our children? "And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men" (Luke 2:52). Though Jesus was the Son of God, He was also a man. He was once a child, and he grew in the same way all children grow: "in wisdom" (intellectual growth), "stature" (physical growth), "favor with God" (spiritual growth), "and men" (social growth). Since fathers must provide for our own, we must see that our children receive the secular education they need to be productive in life, the food, shelter, clothing, and medical attention they need for healthy physical growth, the spiritual training they must have to grow in favor with God, and the social training they require to function well with people.

Isn’t it amazing that, whereas godly mothers spend many hours studying how to raise children, many dads who are Christians seem to pay little attention to their children and to think that earning a living takes care of their family responsibilities? What a terrible mistake! Fathers, you’ll probably never have a graver responsibility more fraught with spiritual peril and potential than bringing up your children. Let’s get serious about this.

Manoah and his wife were childless. The Angel of the Lord appeared to her and promised her a child. When she told her husband, he prayed, ""O my Lord, please let the Man of God whom You sent come to us again and teach us what we shall do for the child who will be born" (Judges 13:8). The Lord heard Manoah’s prayer, and the Angel returned. Manoah asked Him, "What will be the boy’s rule of life, and his work?" (Judges 13:12) The child was Samson, who began to deliver Israel from the Phillistines.

The Lord has given us in His Word the basic information we need to train our children to serve Him. But the principles are broad, and the problems we face are myriad and complex. Dads, study your Bibles both with your children and by yourself to equip yourself to train them. Settle it in your hearts to follow the divine directions rather than human philosophy or your own opinions or desires. Then pray earnestly and regularly for the wisdom you need to apply the divine instructions to the daily task of raising your children (James 1:5). You will never have a responsibility that holds out the opportunity for greater reward or the danger of greater danger.

Vine, W.E., An Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words.